Flesh: Brandon this job you have, its sucks! You hate it with a passion and its something you dont have pleasure doing at all. You bargined for something you can't handle. True as soon as you find a new one your quitting.People don't do there job's and its your job to put up what they dont do, but actually its not your job. How do you feel about that in person, you can't love something you dislike! FACT is a Fact!
Spirit: Brandon, god has blessed you with a job, and youve been absent from the working feild for along time now, you should thankful at all times. Once you reconize your worship from the heart , God will place you in a better place, just ride this out!
Flesh: Brandon ok that all good and fine, but how can you try and love something you hate doing, not saying your lazy or anything but , you dont like inconsisentcy.
Brandon: Your right i dont like it and i dont know how to control myself. I think im so filled with fusration, and anger, and hurt that when some one, or something presses my buttons I pop! And ant that job its starting to happen.
Spirit: Brandon just think people in africa , and china and etc, would kill for this oppertunity you call a hell whole, open your eyes and realize that youve got something good.
Flesh: But its not bettering you any. And teens try give you advise about the real world and how, your just being a big cry baby, who cant handle washing dishes, They dont look in your shoes, they dont know what its like to be in the position your in, You have to move out of your house within day, and you have to still ponder if your going to have a place to live, also you still have to finish school, the start on your assio. degree in edu. then going to collage in newyork , where you have to pay $60,000 bucks for the two years, of money you dont got, and your family doesnt wanna help you, they practicly dislike you, and then you have all that crap tipping on your shoulders and , no body takes your situitations seriously, they tell you to dont even worry about it, its not that big of a deal, but when someone else has a relationship problem, they spend hours giving harsh advise and continous blah blah! How does that make you feel?
Brandon: You have a point, ive been keeping my mouth shut alot thought, they notice that im going though hard times, John C is one of the only person who has the thought to ask, brandon what's wrong you ok, True i dont wanna be babied but its doesnt hurt to to cheer me up. And its seems the times i do come there like "will its ok, ive been thought worse youll be ok" Well im not , Ive delt with physical abuse in my home and when i tell someone that ive been, punched in the face multipal times and pushed into a wall and choaked and slammed, hmm nobody seems to care its always " Oh dang im sorry or well ill pray for you" but they make a big deal of a relationship I DONT GET IT. And im really sorry if i affend anyone but i cant continue to bottle up how i feel.
Spirit: Brandon i do understand what your going throught, and how you feel, but you dont rely on people to coat your pain and issues, God has the power here. Tell him! You dont have to tell other people, its does help but its not a must. And maybe those people can't do anything for you, or havent delt with something like what you say. Now know that god will take care of you. Your not alone, and yes there are far more worser things out in the world but , you havent grown to that, it does hurt the things your are going through.
Flesh: Or maybe we all pick favorites, and maybe are not instrested in what other peoples problems are?
Spirit: False, im sure people do have favorites But godly people always care about one another, and ther situations.
Brandon: Im just at a crossroad, and i feel no one listening , even GOD! My life is a big silent scream for help. I need god more than i think, but sometimes my flesh takes over me and i dont even feel like believeing that god has a better life for me. But i have to break away from my flesh! Gosh I love these people so much, Id just exspect more.
Spirit: Exspect GOD, nothing more, nothing less. I feel the desire that you do want to have a pure heart, and you want to worship god because of your blessings, but you have to break from your flesh.
Brandon: What about my friends, I listen to what people say, and i just think they dont understand them, they only get half of the story, and the rest is made up of assumptions and past situations, they dont see the progression in there lifes , and they dispise them from what they think and not what they know!
Flesh: Yeah thats right!
Spirit: Thats something you have to bring to the lord, then if its true or false god will notify those who are unsure and left without a answer!
Brandon: Ok I am putting my foot down, I love god and ive been disiplinning myself to stay faithful and true and its going good. So im trusting god. If i dont get the oppertunity to rent the fasting room, god has something better, and i have to trust that he will better me, and brighten my future!
SPIRIT WINS!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
God Help Me Recrute Thy Friends
God
Ok, Spreading your word is really a good thing in the christain life. Ahhh here come the but BUT i just dont know how, in person. There are two people i want them to know you lord i want them to love you like jesus does i want them to be inspristions to me. Those two people are my band memebers Alex Albano, and Austin Eguia. Now ive known them for only just alittle so im not sure , i feel that alex has a hunger for the lord, he just feels weird to talk about it, but then thats when i come in but Ahh im not sure if he is , but he goes to church thats a start, and so does austin but im not so sure with austin, i think he does know the lord but he wants to fit in with everyday people but i really really dont know, im only just looking at there book cover havent got to read them yet but god, if they arent passionate for you , lord use me as a instrument of you, lord i need you to help me, to show off your love and i want them to know why am i always so happy, though my life is a dark circus, i want them to wonder why do i accept any kind of friend in my life, i want them to wonder why if i bought them something just out of pure kindness , i want them to wanna be like that and then i can explain the love of you and how you keep me sane tough the hardess times in my life, lord i want them to know you better i wan them to have a relationship with you lord and ill do what ever it takes just tap me on the shoulder and say "brandon do this do that" and i will cause i want them to know you so they can have a better life and an extremely better afther life, lord use me to tool them to a christian life , and i need prayer to do this and, i need pray for them to be shhowered with your love, and lord even though i dont know them that much but you say love you neibor as you love yourself , i have the habit of loving my neibor more than myself so lord please help me get them closer to you. Lord and i pray for Dj Garcia for lord he want to get his life back with you but there so many distractions in his life lord , i need you to take them away so he can focus and for me to be there for him wn he needs me, and lord i pray for Stony Dionne for him to esxcape the negitivty he has inside for him, his competitiveness to run out lord and for him to understand the value of being obdeant to his mom because she needs his love now, and just i need to to sucker punch the devil in his face to get away rom stoney , not to influnce him into decete, lord guide him and bring back the on ire stoney i once knew. Lord thank you for Mike Peterson for him teaching me so much and for him being that friend i will always need in my life, i pray that you just fulfill his heat every day with more desire for you and im really blessed to have a friend like him. Lord i pray for Wesley Haddock for him to be guided into hs life of adulthood and that when ever he needs me im right there and i pray for him to brake down the wall that he's formed i pray for him to be able to be open and have some one to talk to at anytime lord i pray that you protect him from temptation that he continue to be that inspiring best friend of mine , And lord i pray for robyn for her be the awesome woman of god ,for her wisdom to teach us youth the things she does, lord i pray tat you heal her from sickness or acke, and pain , lord replace that with more love, and happyness and i pray for drew as he enters the world of adulthood also i pray that he is guided into a bright future and lord i know he'll be safe he's a smart kid, and for robyn to not feel sad or empty because drews leaving, and lord just bless her and provide her with a long life full or love and happiness and have her continue to embrace your love and your word, lord cuase she has been like a mother for me every since the day i met her, and i dont know what i would do if she were to disappear, because i love her so much and she owns a part in my heart and i pray for lisa,sarah,john,eric,newhall etc the WHOLE CONG. lol i love you father and continue to guide me!
Amen
Brandon
Ok, Spreading your word is really a good thing in the christain life. Ahhh here come the but BUT i just dont know how, in person. There are two people i want them to know you lord i want them to love you like jesus does i want them to be inspristions to me. Those two people are my band memebers Alex Albano, and Austin Eguia. Now ive known them for only just alittle so im not sure , i feel that alex has a hunger for the lord, he just feels weird to talk about it, but then thats when i come in but Ahh im not sure if he is , but he goes to church thats a start, and so does austin but im not so sure with austin, i think he does know the lord but he wants to fit in with everyday people but i really really dont know, im only just looking at there book cover havent got to read them yet but god, if they arent passionate for you , lord use me as a instrument of you, lord i need you to help me, to show off your love and i want them to know why am i always so happy, though my life is a dark circus, i want them to wonder why do i accept any kind of friend in my life, i want them to wonder why if i bought them something just out of pure kindness , i want them to wanna be like that and then i can explain the love of you and how you keep me sane tough the hardess times in my life, lord i want them to know you better i wan them to have a relationship with you lord and ill do what ever it takes just tap me on the shoulder and say "brandon do this do that" and i will cause i want them to know you so they can have a better life and an extremely better afther life, lord use me to tool them to a christian life , and i need prayer to do this and, i need pray for them to be shhowered with your love, and lord even though i dont know them that much but you say love you neibor as you love yourself , i have the habit of loving my neibor more than myself so lord please help me get them closer to you. Lord and i pray for Dj Garcia for lord he want to get his life back with you but there so many distractions in his life lord , i need you to take them away so he can focus and for me to be there for him wn he needs me, and lord i pray for Stony Dionne for him to esxcape the negitivty he has inside for him, his competitiveness to run out lord and for him to understand the value of being obdeant to his mom because she needs his love now, and just i need to to sucker punch the devil in his face to get away rom stoney , not to influnce him into decete, lord guide him and bring back the on ire stoney i once knew. Lord thank you for Mike Peterson for him teaching me so much and for him being that friend i will always need in my life, i pray that you just fulfill his heat every day with more desire for you and im really blessed to have a friend like him. Lord i pray for Wesley Haddock for him to be guided into hs life of adulthood and that when ever he needs me im right there and i pray for him to brake down the wall that he's formed i pray for him to be able to be open and have some one to talk to at anytime lord i pray that you protect him from temptation that he continue to be that inspiring best friend of mine , And lord i pray for robyn for her be the awesome woman of god ,for her wisdom to teach us youth the things she does, lord i pray tat you heal her from sickness or acke, and pain , lord replace that with more love, and happyness and i pray for drew as he enters the world of adulthood also i pray that he is guided into a bright future and lord i know he'll be safe he's a smart kid, and for robyn to not feel sad or empty because drews leaving, and lord just bless her and provide her with a long life full or love and happiness and have her continue to embrace your love and your word, lord cuase she has been like a mother for me every since the day i met her, and i dont know what i would do if she were to disappear, because i love her so much and she owns a part in my heart and i pray for lisa,sarah,john,eric,newhall etc the WHOLE CONG. lol i love you father and continue to guide me!
Amen
Brandon
Saturday, July 28, 2007
New Life Reborn
Reborn
Now i live a life that is reborn. Recently the lord got to me in away no one has ever got to me. But he hit me hard, hit me with a big blast of reality. I have alot of boundrys to keep now i wanna be able to restore my life with the lord. Like a zipper , im the left side of the zipper and on the right side is, passion and hunger and desire for the lord, disapline, advanture, worship and life. And god it the handle zipper who locking us all together and keeping it all together for me. I look at all the things in life that i love so much ad ive build my whole life around, like my band and theater, two things that could lead me into satans mouse traps, but i have the lord on my side and i believe the lord is going to let me fulfill my desire in those , but i have to get corretly impassionate with the lord in order for that. And i look at myself in the mirror, and i said god thank you, i hate speaking of this but , I said "Brandon you have so many talents , you can sing,dance,act,write,teach, but you find ways to humble your self and try and save those for the lord! but i wanna live for the lord from now on , i need him for my beginning in adulthood so pary for me for me to continue with a passion for the lord!
amen
Brandon
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