Dear October

Time is running short and soon, ill be joining a whole new life and i'm entering a whole new world. The city that never sleeps. new York! i wouldn't of ever imagined it be so fast. Life is so delicate and unfair , but god has build me to accept anything that flows in the way of my life.Im dealing with fee's and fears that scare me the most. I pictured my whole life late night, i wondered where am i going to be a year from now, i have plans for new york but life is beating me down wretchedly and i want to be true to myself and not fill my mind with fantasy. But i have a dream and im going to speak to myself of that, I will be successful and im not going to dwell on what i could lose and what hardship that could conquer my life. God has done a fine job on this man, and i am so thankful that he has taken his time to shape me into the man i am. Losing my job right when i have my bills to pay is not the funnest way to be a stronger person but god knows what he's doing and hopefully i will to. I have a big life ahead of me and im really thankful to have the friends that i have pushing me along the way. So now that i have spear time, and a hope for employment i will return to my foundation of were i gained my faith in god, and were people thought me so much about Christ. Harvest Temple.


I miss you all and cant wait to see you!
Brandon

A New Life

A New Life
Life has been so awesome to me. God has provided the happiness i've been missing my entire life. A home, A real family, people i wake up happy to see. My past has tought me so much. I know not to dewl on the past. Its done alot for me , i may not have liked it but it happened. Im so thankful to have parents to help me seek my dream instead of taking it away.

A New Start
Ive erased my bad habits and started over to complete gods wishes for me. A new Heart that i can continue loving whats good instead of what makes me who I was.

A New Hope
Now I look forward to the troubles in life because i was brought up a fighter and God wont put more than a can handle. Ill hope that i can stay faithful to gods word and that i can be strong in him.

A New Day
I know that no man is perfect and along this walk of renewince. Ive messed up already but, tomorrows a new day, but i can not continue to fall, so i will strive for freedom for lust and evil.

A New Chance
A chance to prove that i am worthy to take on a walk of salvation. I want to replinish my life of GOD. To soak in his blood once more. People at my church dont look at me the same anymore, My appesince has'nt soothed that ether. im an adult now. Ive taken on a big responce, and i must follow.
A New Dream
My focus is to God and to be strong enought to regain power with god. Then go forth my dream to my profession as a entertainer. God has given me many dreams and talents and i can use each one to reach out and avandulize.
A New Love
My love is out there some where. I know god does not agree of my deision of who i love. I dont know if god will except my flaw. But he will forgive me, and ill pray for continued promise into the gates of heaven. Adam and Eve is the standard, but we all differ and are lead and molded into what wrong, and were dryed into stone, And to break the attraction of difference, breaks who i am and the happiness I hold. Ive never known love , but i shall be patient and it will come.
A New World
Ill progress into a whole new world. A Dangerous world, of lies, help, disfunction, lust , drugs, high, sex, harm, even death. But with the power f god and my faith , ill be ammuonned from any type of evil. ill make happiness out of this world and i wont lead into the enemys plan. Ill fulfill what i was born to do.
A New Life
So here i am , ive started over and i will fall, but I will rise and with the help of you, and god. ill be the best man my mother in heaven dreamed of. I'm making her smile and its does bring tears to my eyes that i cant phyically celebrate my success with my mother, i wont hurt. One day will renew our love more. i love you mother Happy birthday mom, and im who i am because of you so i thank you , and ill rememeber you for ever.

Happy Birthday To:
Brice Brinson
June 29th 1990

Brandon Brinson (Me)
June 28th 1989

Anita Brinson (Mom)
June 26th 1975 - 2003
Rest In Peace Love Your Son

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rejU9L06uFQ

Needing Help With Dull People

Recently i went to abundant life youth, and the pastor "Dustin" He spoke a very touching , and relative to my life message. As you all know im living with a friend, Dave, and Jesse/Spanish, and his brother James , And Mama! Dave is a very bright guy, he keeps me laughing alot, and he a cool kid to hang around! Spanish is a cool person too and has a humor that i favor, But i never know living with them would be the pain of this season, I don't say that spitefully, but let me explain the situation. Dave's Mom Christine is the only supporter in the house. She works 2 full time jobs, and ays for everything, Bills, internet, garbage, electric, 2 car insurances, W.O.W, 3 Cell Phones, and many other thing among the house. Though Jesse and I has offered to pay rent, she care to much for us , since we dont make that much. Dave and James , they pay for nothing. James refuses to get a job, and stays home all day, and sleeps and play on the computer, thats his life and it saddens me cause there could me so much better coming from him. He steals money for me and wont clean the house when ever its his turn and he constantly messes up! And its just really bad! He back talks to his mom, like she nonresistant, its hurts me went she hurts. But he wont do anything with his life and its just saddening me. Dave isnt as bad as james but along the same line. Dave is okay he does have a job, but thats not his issue, he's not as clean as his mom would want him to be, and the whole point with dave is he just doesnt care about anything. His mom is out of town this week and she said go to school everyday! he has been since she left,he just doesnt like to listen at all. He stays home 97% of his time eating and watching tv. Its a killer, and when i ask him and jesse " Hey wanna go do something guys?" NOOO! watching lost! Its just hurts me cause i though living with friends would be a fun thing! Jesse is the same as dave, he does work, but they dont do anything, they mess up, they only clean when i remind them 50 times, and its so stressful, and jesse has a negativity that makes me wanna scream, he's really negative on everything, only with me! He criticizes everything. He's kinda disrespectful, and make big deals about nothing! I have to sleep outside in a tent because they wont let me sleep they talk and goof til about 2 in the morning when we have to go to school. And there room is awful! I dont wanna seem like im just telling you that these people are horrible but im really frustrated and im letting you put your self in my shoes. Now i clean the whole house about everyday, because they wont do it. The Only thing that keeping me pumping is there mom. She is the sweetest woman i know and she does so much and shes funny and really really a good person to know, and they treat her like crap, they dont listen and dont clean , and before i started living here, she would cry every night cause she didnt know what to do. Im so thankful to be put in this situation, for her, because i will take be treated like crap and step over and such just so she doesnt have to. they put her through so much, and since i do those things she ask dave and james to do, she a happy camper, and that harms my heart, it pays for the hurt that i have to take from them, and i love them all i wish better for them all. And i totally understands no one's perfect, But when you can change your life and be a better person for your mother,a dn friends and you dont take that god given opportunity, what can i say! I wasnt the most obedant child but still listened to what my parents told me to do, and i was treated like CRAP! and it make me cry something cause i see this hard working mom, who just wants success out of her kids, just break down cause they wont improve or progess. Im still there friend and nothing going to tear that apart and as a son of god im going to still stay sharp so one day the will grow and have sympathetic hearts and learn to care of others , and watching jesse slip away hurts more. So i will continue to love them and keep them in my prayers, and for your guys i ask you to pray for Chirstine that she will grow to have a stronger heart, and to be able to push throw and and keep sane when her's kids are driving her nuts lol! Lord i know a future is held for all these biys, lord teach them how to be men, god, teach them how to be responible and how to be an adult! god your love is most awesome and im so thankful that i refuse to ever take your love for granted again! You guys keep all of us in your prayers, im really sorry i cant hang around as much as i like, im helping gods children!

Flesh V.S Spirit

Flesh: Brandon this job you have, its sucks! You hate it with a passion and its something you dont have pleasure doing at all. You bargined for something you can't handle. True as soon as you find a new one your quitting.People don't do there job's and its your job to put up what they dont do, but actually its not your job. How do you feel about that in person, you can't love something you dislike! FACT is a Fact!

Spirit: Brandon, god has blessed you with a job, and youve been absent from the working feild for along time now, you should thankful at all times. Once you reconize your worship from the heart , God will place you in a better place, just ride this out!

Flesh: Brandon ok that all good and fine, but how can you try and love something you hate doing, not saying your lazy or anything but , you dont like inconsisentcy.

Brandon: Your right i dont like it and i dont know how to control myself. I think im so filled with fusration, and anger, and hurt that when some one, or something presses my buttons I pop! And ant that job its starting to happen.

Spirit: Brandon just think people in africa , and china and etc, would kill for this oppertunity you call a hell whole, open your eyes and realize that youve got something good.

Flesh: But its not bettering you any. And teens try give you advise about the real world and how, your just being a big cry baby, who cant handle washing dishes, They dont look in your shoes, they dont know what its like to be in the position your in, You have to move out of your house within day, and you have to still ponder if your going to have a place to live, also you still have to finish school, the start on your assio. degree in edu. then going to collage in newyork , where you have to pay $60,000 bucks for the two years, of money you dont got, and your family doesnt wanna help you, they practicly dislike you, and then you have all that crap tipping on your shoulders and , no body takes your situitations seriously, they tell you to dont even worry about it, its not that big of a deal, but when someone else has a relationship problem, they spend hours giving harsh advise and continous blah blah! How does that make you feel?

Brandon: You have a point, ive been keeping my mouth shut alot thought, they notice that im going though hard times, John C is one of the only person who has the thought to ask, brandon what's wrong you ok, True i dont wanna be babied but its doesnt hurt to to cheer me up. And its seems the times i do come there like "will its ok, ive been thought worse youll be ok" Well im not , Ive delt with physical abuse in my home and when i tell someone that ive been, punched in the face multipal times and pushed into a wall and choaked and slammed, hmm nobody seems to care its always " Oh dang im sorry or well ill pray for you" but they make a big deal of a relationship I DONT GET IT. And im really sorry if i affend anyone but i cant continue to bottle up how i feel.

Spirit: Brandon i do understand what your going throught, and how you feel, but you dont rely on people to coat your pain and issues, God has the power here. Tell him! You dont have to tell other people, its does help but its not a must. And maybe those people can't do anything for you, or havent delt with something like what you say. Now know that god will take care of you. Your not alone, and yes there are far more worser things out in the world but , you havent grown to that, it does hurt the things your are going through.

Flesh: Or maybe we all pick favorites, and maybe are not instrested in what other peoples problems are?

Spirit: False, im sure people do have favorites But godly people always care about one another, and ther situations.

Brandon: Im just at a crossroad, and i feel no one listening , even GOD! My life is a big silent scream for help. I need god more than i think, but sometimes my flesh takes over me and i dont even feel like believeing that god has a better life for me. But i have to break away from my flesh! Gosh I love these people so much, Id just exspect more.

Spirit: Exspect GOD, nothing more, nothing less. I feel the desire that you do want to have a pure heart, and you want to worship god because of your blessings, but you have to break from your flesh.

Brandon: What about my friends, I listen to what people say, and i just think they dont understand them, they only get half of the story, and the rest is made up of assumptions and past situations, they dont see the progression in there lifes , and they dispise them from what they think and not what they know!

Flesh: Yeah thats right!

Spirit: Thats something you have to bring to the lord, then if its true or false god will notify those who are unsure and left without a answer!

Brandon: Ok I am putting my foot down, I love god and ive been disiplinning myself to stay faithful and true and its going good. So im trusting god. If i dont get the oppertunity to rent the fasting room, god has something better, and i have to trust that he will better me, and brighten my future!

SPIRIT WINS!

God Help Me Recrute Thy Friends

God

Ok, Spreading your word is really a good thing in the christain life. Ahhh here come the but BUT i just dont know how, in person. There are two people i want them to know you lord i want them to love you like jesus does i want them to be inspristions to me. Those two people are my band memebers Alex Albano, and Austin Eguia. Now ive known them for only just alittle so im not sure , i feel that alex has a hunger for the lord, he just feels weird to talk about it, but then thats when i come in but Ahh im not sure if he is , but he goes to church thats a start, and so does austin but im not so sure with austin, i think he does know the lord but he wants to fit in with everyday people but i really really dont know, im only just looking at there book cover havent got to read them yet but god, if they arent passionate for you , lord use me as a instrument of you, lord i need you to help me, to show off your love and i want them to know why am i always so happy, though my life is a dark circus, i want them to wonder why do i accept any kind of friend in my life, i want them to wonder why if i bought them something just out of pure kindness , i want them to wanna be like that and then i can explain the love of you and how you keep me sane tough the hardess times in my life, lord i want them to know you better i wan them to have a relationship with you lord and ill do what ever it takes just tap me on the shoulder and say "brandon do this do that" and i will cause i want them to know you so they can have a better life and an extremely better afther life, lord use me to tool them to a christian life , and i need prayer to do this and, i need pray for them to be shhowered with your love, and lord even though i dont know them that much but you say love you neibor as you love yourself , i have the habit of loving my neibor more than myself so lord please help me get them closer to you. Lord and i pray for Dj Garcia for lord he want to get his life back with you but there so many distractions in his life lord , i need you to take them away so he can focus and for me to be there for him wn he needs me, and lord i pray for Stony Dionne for him to esxcape the negitivty he has inside for him, his competitiveness to run out lord and for him to understand the value of being obdeant to his mom because she needs his love now, and just i need to to sucker punch the devil in his face to get away rom stoney , not to influnce him into decete, lord guide him and bring back the on ire stoney i once knew. Lord thank you for Mike Peterson for him teaching me so much and for him being that friend i will always need in my life, i pray that you just fulfill his heat every day with more desire for you and im really blessed to have a friend like him. Lord i pray for Wesley Haddock for him to be guided into hs life of adulthood and that when ever he needs me im right there and i pray for him to brake down the wall that he's formed i pray for him to be able to be open and have some one to talk to at anytime lord i pray that you protect him from temptation that he continue to be that inspiring best friend of mine , And lord i pray for robyn for her be the awesome woman of god ,for her wisdom to teach us youth the things she does, lord i pray tat you heal her from sickness or acke, and pain , lord replace that with more love, and happyness and i pray for drew as he enters the world of adulthood also i pray that he is guided into a bright future and lord i know he'll be safe he's a smart kid, and for robyn to not feel sad or empty because drews leaving, and lord just bless her and provide her with a long life full or love and happiness and have her continue to embrace your love and your word, lord cuase she has been like a mother for me every since the day i met her, and i dont know what i would do if she were to disappear, because i love her so much and she owns a part in my heart and i pray for lisa,sarah,john,eric,newhall etc the WHOLE CONG. lol i love you father and continue to guide me!

Amen
Brandon

New Life Reborn

Reborn

Now i live a life that is reborn. Recently the lord got to me in away no one has ever got to me. But he hit me hard, hit me with a big blast of reality. I have alot of boundrys to keep now i wanna be able to restore my life with the lord. Like a zipper , im the left side of the zipper and on the right side is, passion and hunger and desire for the lord, disapline, advanture, worship and life. And god it the handle zipper who locking us all together and keeping it all together for me. I look at all the things in life that i love so much ad ive build my whole life around, like my band and theater, two things that could lead me into satans mouse traps, but i have the lord on my side and i believe the lord is going to let me fulfill my desire in those , but i have to get corretly impassionate with the lord in order for that. And i look at myself in the mirror, and i said god thank you, i hate speaking of this but , I said "Brandon you have so many talents , you can sing,dance,act,write,teach, but you find ways to humble your self and try and save those for the lord! but i wanna live for the lord from now on , i need him for my beginning in adulthood so pary for me for me to continue with a passion for the lord!

amen

Brandon